Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Weight matters... or does it?!

I've been reading/joining in with the Weight Watchers forums since joining class and although I mainly stay in the 5+ part, I have ventured into other parts of the forum, mainly the New Community Members section and it was in there that it really got me thinking.

We're all the same, everyone, no matter what weight, is there for one reason - to loose weight and encourage each other in doing so. There'll be hundreds more lurkers than there are posters, but one thing we do all have in common is that we feel a bit pants about the way we look and we want to do something about it.

Who defines what is right or wrong?
Yeah there are guidelines as to what we should all weigh - there's the 'ideal weight' chart given to us when we join WW, as well as the guidelines given by the National Health Organisation on BMI etc... all that might be well and good; however, our personal guidlines are something completely different!

I have been the size (and weight) that I am now on a few occasions in my life, I've also been slimmer, and even a little bit bigger than I am now. However, I've also been slimmer, and as an adult I've probably been down to a 16 at most! However, there must have been a point when I went past 16 and carried on going, only to decide 'this is it', and do something about it... thinking about it, it was probably the time when I joined Slimming World (about 10 years ago). I can't honestly remember what weight I was back then, but I'd say I was probably around a 20, but back then that was my breaking point!

Right now I'd give anything to be a size 20 again, and obviously that point will be on the horizon. I guess my point is that when I get to a 20 I'll feel on top of the world, I know I will, and I'll feel sexy and like I can wear fashionable clothes again and much more confident... however, back then that was my breaking point!

Everyone sets themselves their breaking point, but its all in the mind. There's people on WW forum who weigh 11 stone and say they feel hideous, un-fit and un-healthy, yet there's also people on there who are 20 stone having lost 8 stone already - they obviously feel amazing because they've come so far.

Its mad really to think of the time I've spent wasting my life wishing I was something I'm not and thinking I'm bigger than I am. When I look back at some photographs I can remember thinking I looked hideous - but looking at that photograph now I'd kill to be back at that size.

Size is a state of mind....

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

So, the journey begins...

Well the date is 27th July 2010 and I am now embarking on week 4 of my Weight Watchers journey.

So; the journey begins...
I'm tempted to say again, because, like so many, I've tried to follow diet plans (namely Slimming World) before and unfortunately its not worked out... however, I'm not going to say 'the journey begins again' because this is a completely fresh start for me.
Firstly, its actually the first time I've done Weight Watchers in earnest (previously lost 4stone-ish with Slimming World) so for me in a way I feel like its all new to me. I've made myself forget everything I've done previously, I feel like this is the best way to tackle things. I always like the saying 'if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got'!

Mums the word....
I figure that right now I have so many incentives and there really has never been a better time to tackle this 'beast' well and truly head-on!
Previously I've wanted to do it because I was just sick of being fat; however, in a way, this time that's kind of the last of my reasons.
I'm now a Mum and I want to be a good role model to my daughter. First and foremost, being healthy for Daisy is the the most important of all reasons. I refuse to be the biggest Mum in the playground when Daisy starts pre-school next September (2011)!

What about last time??
When I first met Ade in 2007 I was a small size 20.
I'd gone through a bit of a voyage of self-discovery during 2006 which concluded in me ending my 4 1/2 year relationship with my previous fiance.
During the back end of 2005 I'd lost 2 1/2 stone through healthy eating and exercise (just through determination and grit), however, during the first part of 2006 I was taken quite ill with gallstones and ended up having my gallbladder removed in April 2006. This was the beginning of the end for me and my ex as, rather than being supportive, he was just angry with me for getting myself so big that it affected my health - true I suppose!
During my illness I lost another 2 stone (I was terrified to eat and was in and out of hospital so not the best diet in the world but it worked). So, all in all, during the course of under a year I'd lost 4 1/2 stones and I suddenly realised I was actually really unhappy with my ex and (long story short), we split in Dec 2006.
My new weight and figure gave me so much confidence and allowed me the chance to think about meeting someone new, and that's where Ade came into my life... Since then I have gained...
3stone in 2 years! Quite a feat!
Yes readers, that's gained, not lost!!
Well the mathematicians among you may have already done a bit of calculating and worked out that if I met Ade in early 2007 and I now have a 2 year old then that's not a lot of time in-between, and you'd be right! When I first met Ade I was actually convinced I couldn't have children. After years of irregularities in my cycle, and years of not being 100% careful with both my long-term ex's, I'd come to the conclusion that I'd struggle to get pregnant and that falling pregnant naturally is something that happened to other people!
1 month after meeting Ade I explained the 'situation' (as I thought it was), and he was really supportive.... 'don't worry, we'll do IVF, adopt, whatever it takes', was his reply... he was amazing!
5 months down the line we were in Mexico and were already living together and talking about 'this time next year' starting trying for a baby... little did we know that I was already growing our little Daisy and 9 months later (May 2008) she came into our lives!

So how did I mange to gain 3 stones?
Immediately after giving birth they hand you leaflets on contraception, and, as this isn't something I'd really considered for a NUMBER of years, it was a lot to think about. I'd never got on with the pill (sent me doolally), or the injection (constant bleeding - not great!), and so I'd always used other, more 'natural' methods, so thinking about having to do something official about it was quite tricky! After a bit of thinking I decided the Mirena coil was the best option for me... little did I know!!!

Since having Daisy, and subsequently having the coil fitted, I've gained 3 stones in weight! Now I am by no means blaming the coil for causing me to gain weight (that'll be the food and lack of movement!), but what I have now realised (with hindsight after having it removed in May) is that having the coil gave me what can only be described as permanent PMT!! I craved food (in particular chocolate) like it was going out of fashion, and I was like a chocolate addict - if I didn't get my daily 'fix', I was a nightmare!
So in late May I finally took the plunge and got it removed and I've got to say its the best thing I've ever done!
I was totally in the right head-space for loosing weight from the early part of this year, but the insane hunger and cravings (that I couldn't explain or understand at the time) meant that I just couldn't get myself anywhere close to starting anything!

Finally, at the beginning of July (5th) I decided to take the plunge and took myself down to my local Weight Watchers meeting!

I'd done it... I'd finally made the step I'd been wanting to make for a long long time and my god do I feel better for it!

So... the vital stats!
My start weight was 20 stone 4lbs... eeek!!!!
My first week I lost 3lbs. I was pretty gutted about this as previously when doing WW and SW I've lost 5/6lbs, but I'm SO much less physically active than I used to be (I've always been big but always been fit up until having Daisy) due to a number of reasons (back problems etc), but mainly because I'm lazy!!!
Second week I lost 4lbs and got my Silver 7! I was absolutely over the moon about this. What is it about those silly stickers that feels so damned good!?
This (third) week I've STS (stayed the same) and although initially gutted, I've actually got my head together about it. Me and Ade had a HUGE day/night out on Sat at an all day gig in Milton Keynes, which meant a LOT of drinking (unusual as we don't drink that much since having Daisy) and although I'd banked a lot of points (I had 41 for the day including my daily allowance), I calculated the next day that I'd actually had around 60!!! So all-in-all I think I did pretty well to STS!

My weigh-in day is on a Monday and so with today being Tuesday I'm at the start of a new week! I'm feeling as motivated as ever (if a little tired after a really bad night with Daisy last night) and loving being in control of food/myself more!

Next thing to tackle is the dreaded EXERCISE!!! Eurghhh!!!! Like I've mentioned above, despite always been big all my life, I've pretty much always done exercise and been pretty fit (always surprise docs and health professionals and previous personal trainers with my BP and recovery rate during exercise); however, since my Gallstones incident in 2006, I've not done any significant exercise! It really took it out of me physically and since then I've just not been able to find the motivation to do anything more than a stroll around a local lake every so often.

So, last week I made a pact with a fellow WW (from the community pages) and we've agreed to start C25K, which we're going to begin tonight! Eeek!!! Sooo, what that means is that by Oct I should be able to run 5k without stopping (that's the principle anyway!).

I've posted a couple of pictures of me looking pretty much at my worst, one at the end of May (at my Daughters Birthday Party), and one on the first week I started WW - What was I thinking with that dress?! I shall definitely be removing that from my wardrobe options for the foreseeable future!